Free Life by Design Discovery Experience

Five thought-provoking discoveries about how life was designed to work.

This is not a test, and there are no scores.

You'll explore five everyday situations. In each pair, you'll start with a Recognition and notice how you think, feel, and respond. Then the matching Discovery will explore what Scripture reveals about that same situation and how you can lead your life more intentionally.

Each Discovery connects to a Recognition. First, you'll notice what happens in everyday life. Then you'll explore the design behind it.

Everyone sees the same five Discoveries. If you request a personal copy after sharing feedback, it will include the answers you selected.

Recognition 1 of 5

When the Light Turns Green

I was driving to the office one morning, enjoying a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the music was playing, and life was good.

Then I stopped at a traffic light.

The light turned green, but the car in front of me didn't move.

I waited a few seconds. Then I gave the horn a little tap.

Nothing.

I waited again, growing more irritated, and tapped the horn a second time. This one wasn't quite so friendly.

Just moments earlier, I'd been enjoying a wonderful morning. Now I was getting angry.

Discovery 1 of 5

What Was Really Making Me Angry?

Most people would probably say the other driver was making me angry. After all, the light was green, he wasn't moving, and I was getting irritated.

But notice what happened.

I was enjoying a beautiful morning until the car in front of me failed to move. Then I began thinking about what was happening.

Why isn't this guy moving? What's he doing?

My thinking gave the situation meaning, and that meaning produced the corresponding emotion.

The traffic light wasn't making me angry. The other driver wasn't making me angry.

I was experiencing anger because of what I was thinking about what was happening.

That's a very different explanation from the way most of us have learned to understand our emotions.

We tend to believe that what someone says or does causes us to feel the way we do. But what if our emotions are actually being produced through the thoughts and meanings we're experiencing in the present moment?

Discovering God's Original Design

This experience reveals two of the seven Governing Realities of Life by Design.

Spirit First. I am not primarily a physical body having a spiritual experience. I am a spirit person living and expressing life through a physical body. My thoughts, the meanings I give them, and the emotions I experience belong to my spirit life. My body expresses that life in the physical world.

Thought. Thought is forming in my spirit life. When I saw the car sitting at the green light, I began thinking about what was happening. My thinking gave the situation meaning, and that meaning produced the corresponding emotion I was experiencing.

What Does the Design Text Reveal?

James 2:26 tells us that the body without the spirit is dead.

That distinction matters. The body is not the whole person. We are spirit persons expressing life through physical bodies.

Proverbs 23:7 tells us:

“For as he thinks within himself, so he is.”

Solomon is using this principle in a particular situation, but look at the architecture his words reveal. The relationship between what a person thinks in the heart and who that person is doesn't begin or end with Solomon's illustration.

Thought is part of how our spirit life functions.

Luke 6:45 records Jesus explaining that what a person brings forth comes from what is in the heart. He connects what is established in the heart with what the person expresses.

These passages reveal relationships within the architecture of human life.

Our spiritual identity matters. What we think and believe matters. What we allow to govern us matters. And what we choose to express becomes something other people experience through us.

That's why discovering how we're designed to function can change much more than our understanding.

It can change how we experience life.

Something Worth Considering

The next time someone does something that upsets you, consider two questions.

What actually happened?

And what meaning am I giving to what happened?

You may discover that the distinction makes a greater difference than you've ever realized.

Recognition 2 of 5

The Problem That Won't Go Away

It's been a long day, and you're finally looking forward to a quiet evening.

Then you get a phone call.

Something important has gone wrong, and you're responsible for dealing with it. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to resolve the situation until tomorrow.

You hang up the phone, but you can't stop thinking about the problem.

What if things get worse? What if the people involved don't cooperate? What if you can't find a solution?

You go over the possibilities, trying to figure out what to do.

Hours pass. The problem hasn't changed, and now you're exhausted.

You just want some peace and a good night's sleep.

Discovery 2 of 5

Does Rest Have to Wait?

Most of us have learned to think of rest as something we experience when our problems are resolved, our responsibilities are finished, or everything is going the way we want.

Think about how often you've said something like, "I'll be able to relax once I get this taken care of."

But what happens when the problem can't be resolved today? Or tomorrow? What about situations involving other people whose decisions you cannot control?

Does that mean you have to live without rest until something changes?

What if Rest was never designed to depend on everything around you being settled?

That's a very different understanding of how life works.

We tend to look at our circumstances to determine whether we can experience peace. But God's original design reveals another possibility.

The problem can remain unresolved, and you can still experience Rest.

Discovering God's Original Design

This situation introduces two of the seven Governing Realities of Life by Design.

Rest. Rest is the Heart's original optimal operating condition. It isn't simply what we experience when the pressure is gone or everything is finally under control. God designed us to live and function from Rest, even while we're facing problems that need our attention. And through our relationship with the Father, we can experience His Peace even when we don't understand how the situation will turn out.

Inside-Out. I am a spirit person expressing life through a physical body. My circumstances are part of the physical life I'm encountering, but they do not have to determine the quality of life I'm experiencing as a person. I don't have to wait for everything around me to change before I can experience the Father's Peace and allow that Rest to govern how I approach the situation.

What Does the Design Text Reveal?

Philippians 4:6–7 (NASB 1995) tells us:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Notice something important.

Paul doesn't tell us that God will first explain everything that's happening or resolve every problem so we can experience Peace.

He tells us about a Peace that passes understanding.

That means we don't have to understand how everything is going to work out before we can experience the Peace of God.

Now consider what Jesus says in Matthew 11:28 (NASB 1995):

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

Jesus offers Rest to people who are already carrying burdens, not just to people whose problems have been resolved.

And Hebrews 4:3 (NASB 1995) tells us:

“For we who have believed enter that rest …”

Notice that entering Rest is connected to Belief, not to our circumstances finally cooperating.

The Rest Jesus offers comes from Him, not from the absence of problems.

Worry keeps our minds busy racing through what might happen, often imagining the worst. But when our spirit is at Rest, we're in the best position to receive the Father's wisdom for the situation we're facing.

We can approach our problems from Rest instead of allowing those problems to govern our experience of life.

Something Worth Considering

Think about something you're currently concerned about that you cannot immediately change.

Have you been waiting for that situation to be resolved before you can experience Rest?

What if you could experience the Father's Peace right now, even without knowing how things will turn out?

Recognition 3 of 5

Who Goes First?

You've had a long week, and you're feeling a little unappreciated.

You've been trying to be thoughtful toward someone you love, making time for them, helping when you can, and doing little things to show you care.

But lately, you haven't felt much appreciation in return.

You begin thinking, It would be nice if someone thought about me for a change.

One evening, this person tells you they're having a difficult day. There's something you could easily do that would make their evening a little better.

But you hesitate.

Why am I always the one giving? When is someone going to do something for me?

You genuinely care about this person. You just wish they would show you more Love.

Discovery 3 of 5

Where Does Love Begin?

Think about how often we talk about Love in terms of what we're receiving.

We want to be loved, appreciated, understood, and valued. And when we don't receive what we're hoping for, we begin feeling unloved.

Sometimes we even stop expressing Love because we're disappointed with what we're receiving.

But what if we've misunderstood how Love was designed to work?

What if Love isn't primarily something we wait for someone else to give us, but something we primarily receive from the Father and choose to express toward others?

That changes the relationship entirely.

I can genuinely desire appreciation and affection from another person. But their failure to give me what I want doesn't have to determine whether I express Love toward them.

And when I choose to give, I don't have to make their expected response the reason I'm giving.

I can honor them because they're valuable, not because I'm expecting something in return.

Discovering God's Original Design

This situation introduces two of the seven Governing Realities of Life by Design.

Love. Love is not a feeling or something we hope to receive from another person. Love is the nature of the Father, who honors others more highly than self and willingly sacrifices for their benefit. Through our relationship with Him, we receive His Love and can express that same Love toward others. We can honor someone and willingly give for their benefit without seeking personal gain or requiring anything in return.

Will. I may desire appreciation, affection, or recognition. Those desires are real, but they don't have to govern my decisions. My Will decides how I show up and how others experience me in life. I can choose to allow the Father's Love to govern how I respond, rather than making what I haven't received from someone else the deciding factor.

What Does the Design Text Reveal?

1 John 4:19 (NASB 1995) tells us:

"We love, because He first loved us."

Notice where Love begins.

It begins with the Father. We are not trying to manufacture Love or extract it from someone else. We receive His Love and learn to express what we've received.

Now consider Jesus' command in John 15:12 (NASB 1995):

"This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you."

Jesus doesn't tell us to wait until someone loves us before we express Love toward them.

He gives us His own Love as the standard for how we're to love one another.

In Luke 6:32–35, Jesus challenges loving only those who love us, and in Philippians 2:3–4, Paul teaches us to honor others and consider their interests, not merely our own.

That's the architecture of Love in action.

It doesn't mean we have no legitimate needs or that we cannot talk honestly about them.

It means what I'm not receiving from someone else doesn't have to determine what they receive from me.

There's a simple prayer I pray almost every day:

Father, Love someone through me today.

Because that's what I want people to experience when they encounter me.

Something Worth Considering

Think about someone you care about.

Have you been waiting for them to show you more Love before you freely express yours?

Now imagine two people in a relationship who both choose to live this way. Neither is giving to get something back. Each is honoring the other and seeking their good. And as a result, both are receiving the Father's Love through one another.

That's very different from two people waiting for the other one to go first.

What might change if you began loving this way, whether or not the other person was ready to do the same?

Recognition 4 of 5

Were You Really There?

You're sitting at the dinner table with someone you care about.

But your mind is busy.

You're still thinking about a difficult conversation you had yesterday. You keep going over what was said and wondering whether you handled it correctly.

Then you start thinking about tomorrow. There's an important decision to make, and you're not sure how things are going to work out.

Meanwhile, the person sitting across from you is telling you about something important that happened in their day.

You're looking at them. You nod occasionally. You even say a few words in response.

A few minutes later, they ask what you think they should do about the situation they've just described.

You realize you have no idea what they're talking about.

They look at you and say, "You didn't hear a word I said, did you?"

You were sitting right there the entire time.

Discovery 4 of 5

Where Were You Living?

You were sitting at the dinner table. You could see the person speaking and hear their voice.

But your attention was somewhere else.

Think about that for a moment.

Yesterday's conversation was already over. Tomorrow's decision hadn't happened yet.

Yet you were experiencing both of them.

How?

Through the thoughts you were having about them in the present moment.

You weren't experiencing yesterday or tomorrow. You were experiencing your thoughts in the present moment.

Meanwhile, someone you cared about was sitting directly in front of you, sharing something important.

And you missed it.

That's worth considering because we can choose to give so much attention to what has happened or what might happen that we overlook what's most important in the present moment.

And sometimes, the people we love experience the consequences of our absence, even while we're sitting right beside them.

Discovering God's Original Design

This situation introduces two of the seven Governing Realities of Life by Design.

Present Moment. I am a spirit person and can only experience life in the present moment. I can remember yesterday and anticipate tomorrow, but both are thoughts I'm experiencing in the present moment.

The present moment is where I recognize what's happening, make decisions, and express life.

There's nothing wrong with learning from yesterday or planning for tomorrow. But I can choose to become so occupied with those thoughts that I miss what's in front of me right now.

Love. Love honors others more highly than self. When I'm sitting with someone I care about, giving them my attention is the way I express that honor. But when I give greater value to my own concerns than to the person in front of me, I'm honoring self above that person. In that moment, I'm not walking in Love.

I may genuinely love that person, but what matters is how I'm showing up in the moment and what they're experiencing through me.

Being physically present with someone isn't necessarily the same as being present for them.

What Does the Design Text Reveal?

Jesus says in Matthew 6:34 (NASB 1995):

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Jesus isn't telling us not to prepare for tomorrow. He's revealing something about the present moment. We cannot live tomorrow today.

Now consider Luke 10:38–42, when Jesus visited Mary and Martha.

Martha was busy preparing and serving. Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet, listening to Him.

Martha's responsibilities were real. But Luke tells us she was distracted, and Jesus described her as worried and bothered about many things.

Think about that.

Jesus was right there in her home.

Martha was occupied with everything she believed needed to be done, while Mary recognized the value of what was available in that moment.

Jesus wasn't teaching that responsibilities don't matter. He was revealing what Martha was missing while she was occupied with them.

And Philippians 2:3–4 tells us to regard others as more important than ourselves and to consider their interests, not merely our own.

That's Love's government. The person sitting in front of me deserves to be valued and honored, even when I have other important things on my mind.

When we choose to give our attention to yesterday and tomorrow, we can miss what God has made available to us today.

And sometimes what we're missing is the opportunity to honor and love the person sitting right in front of us in the present moment.

Something Worth Considering

Think about the people you spend time with every day.

How often are you physically present but giving your attention to something that isn't happening in the present moment?

Remember, life is only experienced in the present moment. If you miss what's happening now, you don't get another chance to live that moment.

What might change in your relationships if the people you're with began experiencing more of your presence and attention?

Recognition 5 of 5

That's Just Who I Am

You're at work when your supervisor asks you to take on another responsibility.

You're already stretched thin. You know you don't have time to do everything that's expected of you, and adding another project is only going to make things worse.

But you smile and say, "Sure, I can take care of that."

Later, you're frustrated with yourself.

You didn't want another responsibility. You knew you should have said something. But you were afraid of disappointing your supervisor or having an uncomfortable conversation.

A friend asks you why you keep agreeing to things you don't really want to do.

You explain that you've always had trouble saying no.

Growing up, you learned to avoid disagreements and keep other people happy. It was easier to go along with things than risk upsetting someone.

And you've been doing it ever since.

Finally, you shrug and say, "I guess that's just who I am."

Discovery 5 of 5

Is That Really Who You Are?

Think about how often we describe ourselves by the way we've learned to live.

"I'm just a worrier."

"I've always been insecure."

"I'm not good with confrontation."

"That's just the way I am."

We begin identifying ourselves by familiar patterns of thinking, feeling, and responding.

Some of those patterns developed when we were children. Others came from experiences we've had throughout our lives.

And because we've responded that way for so long, we assume those patterns are simply part of who we are.

But consider something.

What if the person you've learned to be isn't necessarily the person God designed you to be?

The way you grew up may help explain how you learned to respond to certain situations. And those responses may have become so familiar that they seem automatic.

But does that mean you have to keep giving those old patterns authority over how you live?

What if you've been treating something you learned as though it were your identity?

That's an important distinction.

How you've learned to live is not necessarily who you are.

And when you discover who you really are and begin governing your life from that identity, it can change how you show up and how others experience you in every situation.

Discovering God's Original Design

This situation brings us to two of the seven Governing Realities of Life by Design.

Spirit First. My identity is not established by my upbringing, the things I've experienced, or the patterns I've learned along the way. God designed me as a spirit person with the ability to recognize, think, believe, desire, and choose. What I've learned may have shaped the life I've been experiencing, but it doesn't change who God originally designed me to be.

Will. I may have learned to respond to conflict by withdrawing, agreeing with everyone, or trying to keep people happy. Those familiar responses can become deeply established, but they don't have to receive authority over my next decision.

My Will determines what governs how I respond. I can recognize an old pattern and choose to give God's Truth operational authority in my life. I can learn to follow the Holy Spirit rather than continue living under the government of fear or the need for approval.

That doesn't mean every old habit disappears the moment we recognize it.

But it does mean we can begin to govern our lives from a different understanding of who we are.

What Does the Design Text Reveal?

Consider what Paul says in Romans 12:2 (NASB 1995):

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Notice the distinction.

Paul describes two possibilities: being conformed to an existing pattern or being transformed through renewal.

The life we've learned to live does not have to remain the life we continue to experience.

And in 2 Corinthians 4:16, Paul distinguishes between the outer person and the inner person, describing the inner person as being renewed day by day.

Scripture reveals that our physical existence is not the entirety of who we are.

Then consider Galatians 5:16 (NASB 1995):

"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."

Paul is revealing another way to live.

Instead of allowing familiar patterns and desires to govern how we respond, we can choose to live according to the Truth the Holy Spirit reveals.

And that's what makes discovering God's original design so significant.

You may have spent your entire life making choices in response to the people and circumstances around you.

But what if you could begin making those choices from God's original design instead?

You don't have to spend the rest of your life being governed by the way you've learned to live. You can begin learning to live the way God designed you to live.

Something Worth Considering

Think about how you describe yourself.

Have you ever said, "That's just the way I am," when you were actually describing something you've learned to do?

What might change if you began recognizing the difference between who you truly are and the way you've learned to live?

What if discovering God's original design could change the life you experience from this moment forward?

Your Feedback

Thank You for Exploring Life by Design!

You've just explored five everyday situations that reveal something about how God designed life to work.

Perhaps some discoveries confirmed what you already believed. Others may have challenged your thinking or helped you recognize something about your own experience.

Thank you for taking the time to explore them.

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Your Next Steps

Where Would You Like to Go From Here?

The five discoveries you've just explored are introductions to the Seven Governing Realities of Life.

There's much more to discover about how God designed us to experience life, develop relationships, and live from the inside out.

If you're interested in learning more, here are some opportunities we're developing.

Explore the Seven Governing Realities of Life

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Discover Design Theology

Interested in understanding how these principles are discovered in Scripture?

Design Theology approaches the Bible as the Design Text, revealing God's original design for how life works.

Explore Design Theology →